Intro Post 2 of 4 - An Exercise in Futility

I know I'm not alone when I do this, but lately I've been feeling guilty when I go past the sporting-goods and workouts aisle of our local mega-store.

I know I should go and spend a bunch of money on equipment and use it and finally get thin.  That if I had any worth at all, I'd do this and I'd have no trouble doing it.  But I can't even bring myself to put a workout DVD into my cart because I know I'd just be wasting money.

It's a constant joke right?  You buy a treadmill in January, determined to use it every day and get those pesky pounds gone and by March it's a clothes rack.

In my case it's not because I don't want to exercise.  It's not because I'm embarrassed to be seen in a gym or at a pool.  Screw other people.  If they think it's so horrible, they can turn their head and not look at me.  I'm not going to become home-bound just becuase I'm fat.

I can't afford to join a gym.  Even if I did, all I'd really be able to do without pain is pedal a stationary bike.  That would get boring real fast.  If the gym had a pool as well, that might be different, but then cost is the biggest obsticle here.

I'm not exaggerating though when I say that other than swimming/water exercises and a stationary bike, I cannot exercise.  Why?  Because it HURTS.  I walk for half of a mile (with or without Ranger) and I can barely make it back home for the pain.  Jumping around to some stupid aerobics video (fronted by someone who looks like she could stand to gain a few pounds of course...)? With my arthritic knees? Forget about it.  Most days I'm in too much pain to even clean my damn house, let alone stand in my living room for 10, 20, 30, or more minutes jumping around looking like an elephant with a seizure disorder.

And I can just imagine those who are personal trainers who read this and go "But if you exercise more it will hurt less!"

Sorry to say, but I tried that.  Doesn't work.  I did walking nearly every evening for two weeks with my dog in the summer and after that I just couldn't put myself through the pain any longer.  It wasn't getting any easier.

And honestly, who can try to do something every day that puts you in enough pain that you want to cry? (rated 7-10 on the 1-10 pain scale)

I don't know if anyone is reading this and I don't know if any readers are the sort that like pain...I can only speak for myself.  I dislike pain.  Very much dislike.

So I need to do something about the pain. Or I need to ride a stationary bike, or swim.  Maybe once I can afford to do that, I'll look at that.  Or maybe I can find another option?  I'm still looking.