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Friday, January 21, 2011

Daily Post - Jan 21 2011

Weight - 385.6 lbs
Mood - Cranky/Frustrated
Pain Level - Started out at 4 went up to 6 at work, then died down before coming home and now has gone up to 7.

Breakfast - Slim Fast Meal bar, 2 clementine tangerines
Lunch - Slim Fast Meal bar, 2 clementine tangerines
Dinner - Beef Ravioli (from a bag, frozen) cooked in a red sauce made from No-Salt-Added tomato sauce, spices, and spinach (from a bag, frozen) topped with shredded cheese - 2 small bowls
Snacks - 2 Slim-fast snack bars, 1 Quaker Oats Cafe Squares mocha raspberry square, 2 clementine tangerines (using up the last of those - they were going bad)
Dessert - One of those DelMonte fruit cobbler things.
Drinks - 3 liters of water - 1 mixed with a packet of Aqua-Full and 2 mixed with wal-mart brand, grape-flavored, crystal-light knockoff drink sticks.

Exercise - None :( Too cold and in too much pain.

Vitamin taken? No.  I forgot.

Meds taken? Yes. except for BP med,  I still need to get my refill from the pharmacy.  I also need to get the muscle relaxer I've been prescribed.

Dinner tonight was a total bleh.  The cheese was overcooked, the pasta was fine, the spinach tasted faintly like dirt.  Blech.  At least the sauce was good.

Tonight I saw something on Twitter that bothered me.  It was a re-tweet by someone and the re-tweeter is a friend of mine who is a personal trainer.  It read:

"89.7% of people in the U.S. describe their diet as healthy; close to two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese "

Oh really now.  I don't think my diet is terribly un-healthy.  What you see above is pretty much what I've been eating all week this week and half of last week.  True, I did eat a lot of decadent stuff on the 14th and 15th, but I was celebrating my birthday.  It's not an every-day thing.  I just HATE this notion that everyone who is obese eats nothing but junk all day, every day and it's their own fault they are fat.

I feel like I'm trying for nothing.  Like I could eat nothing at all, still be fat, and it'd still be my fault.  How can you eat less than nothing?  As if eating is really the only problem.  I know it's not.

According to most people I talk to who aren't fat, I need to eat next to nothing and I need to workout for 2 hours every day right? I don't even know anymore.  And don't even get me started on stupid weight loss tips in magazines.

Tangent mode: WTF is up with magazines geared at women 25 and up? It's like here! We have THE ULTIMATE WEIGHT-LOSS ANSWER! HOW TO FINALLY STOP BEING A FAT LOSER! JUST BUY ME! and then also on the cover is MAKE THIS TOTALLY FAT-AND-CALORIE-LADEN DESSERT OR YOU ARE A TOTAL LOSER OF A HOMEMAKER/MOM/WIFE/WHATEVER.

I swear, this is why I don't read this crap.  But I still see it every time I go to the goddamn grocery store.

Or maybe I just have issues.  This is probably it.

Saw my counselor today.  Talked about various stuff that's stressing me out (work, trying to get into the new college, etc) How can I write an academic personal statement if I can't even diet?

I need to go to bed.

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